The Fence , a fable by Jean l'Insomniac5/07/00

Pepe laPew : Fat, Stinky, Stupid Skunk Blessed with a solidly stable 2-digit IQ

Jacques leGendarmerie : misguided protector of the people

Jean l'Insomniac : Struggling educator with a solid 3-digit IQ which is being eroded by the years

I. Fence & Neutral - UI's Electric Meter

One dark night during 1993, Pepe laPew and Jacques leGendarmerie approached the NE corner of L'Insomniac's house, some 50 feet from the street. Pepe laPew  was hollering obscenities in a drunken and slurred manner.

The UI's meter was removed and the plate covering the power cables entering the house was removed. While Jacques leGendarmerie held a metal bar, Pepe laPew hammered away, forcing the neutral cable to become loose and partially withdrawn from its bindings.

The cover and meter were replaced. Pepe laPew and Jacques leGendarmerie retreated.

M-e-a-n-w-h-i-l-e

L'Insomniac was aroused the second time that night. He calmed down his companion, Sarge, a very healthy five-year-old shepherd-husky. The banging was surreal.

L'Insomniac stumbled to the bathroom to insert his dentures. He found his way to the kitchen and put on his glasses.

The pounding ceased and the power was reestablished. L'Insomniac went to a front window and was unable to observe anyone there.

L'Insomniac considered leaving a note as a reminder when he got up that morning - but was too tired. The preceding seemed like a weird nightmare. He and Sarge went back to sleep.

In the morning, the previous nightmare seem exactly that. The appeared nothing out of order outside. Inside, only the flashing clocks on the stove and microwave belied the power out had been real.

II. Fence & SNET

Several locals would inquire of l'Insomniac if his phone was 'ok'.
Neutral problem interferes with phone service during 1990's.  Fence caused neutral problem

III. Fence & Refrigerator

Neutral problem 'blows' refrigerator motor. Fence caused neutral problem.

IV. Report to State Attorney

Mandatory report to validate tax deduction for property damage.